Yes, I realize that the title implies a fight or argument between the two. I purposely wanted to imply that because I have run across so many articles and programs geared toward Goal Setting. What I’ve discovered is that a good part of them are forgetting a very important element … Dream Getting!
Out here in the personal development / self-help arena (where I am located), I hear so much about Goal Setting. Yes, setting goals are important, but they are not the answer to creating the life you want. There are way too many folks who are dependent on Motivational Speakers.
You know who they are … they attend a seminar, come home all fired up and ready to set their goals. Then, inevitably, two days later, two weeks later, or even two months later, their fire has died down to a distant spark and they are right back where they were before attending the seminar.
Sure, there are those very few whose fire hasn’t died and did create the life they wanted.
Now we can say, “They didn’t really want it” or “They didn’t believe they could do it” and that is why they failed. While those are true statements to a point, they surely don’t assist those of us who have really tried and still failed.
I do not believe in Motivational Speakers. Yes, those titles exist, but I don’t believe anyone can motivate anyone else. I do believe we can be INSPIRED by others, but not motivated. Motivation comes from within.
Scarlet O’Hara, the heroine in the story ‘Gone With the Wind,’ was not motivated by the civil war or any person … although their effects inspired her to be a strong, independent woman. There is a scene, where she returns to her southern plantation home, starving, dirty, thirsty. In the barren garden which was once lavishly green and colorful, she states, “I swear, as God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
And she never did go hungry again, once she got ‘back on her feet.’ She found the motivation within. And that is where you motivation is. It comes from a place inside of you.
Now let’s fast-forward to Dream Getting. Obtaining the Dreams you desire. How does that happen? Let me start by saying it does not start with goal setting. Goal setting is a part of the process, but that is not where you begin.
You begin by being specific and clear about what you want. Just as in any journey, you must know where you want to be. You also must know where you are. Being honest about both can be difficult, however, it is where you must begin. Where you want to be, and where you currently are.
Once you have clearly laid out your destination, then you can work backwards to where you are right now.
Working backwards actually gives you more destination spots. These are not goals. And this is where I see a lot of people confusing the two (goals and dreams).
You will find you may have 3 other destinations or 30 other destinations between where you are now and where you want to be. That’s okay! It does not matter how many you end up with … what matters is that you are able to clearly and specifically define where you are right now and where you want to be.
Once you have laid out (preferably written on paper) your destinations, with them in order from then to now, you will find that you have actually developed your map. You have the direction you want to move forward with.
Now comes the instructions.
The instructions are how you want to be when you arrive at your final destination (your dream life). Will you be happy, honest, trustworthy, generous, etc.? What type of person do you see yourself being? Compare that with the type of person you currently are … such as sometimes honest, more of a taker than a giver, non-trusting, etc. (Again, preferably written on paper.)
Okay, so now you have your destinations and the person you want to be. You also have your current destination and who you currently are. Plus, you have your mini-destinations, which can be compared to those rest stops on the side of the road when you are traveling.
Now comes the goals. A goal is something that needs to be done / completed. It is something you do.
Let’s compare this with walking from your living room to the kitchen. You know you are in the living room (where you currently are), you want to be in the kitchen (where you want to be). In between the two is a bathroom (mini-destination).
You decide that you will skip to the kitchen (how you will get to the kitchen – hey, most people walk so congratulate yourself on doing it your way!}.
In order to skip, you must begin with one of your legs (right or left leg). You decide. Now you are ready to set your goals. Keep the kitchen as your destination in your mind, but keep your eye on the bathroom door (the closest mini-destination).
The first goal is to bring your right knee up.
The second goal is to hop a little bit forward on your left leg.
The third goal is to bring your left leg up.
The fourth goal is to hop a little bit forward on your right leg.
REPEAT THE 4 GOALS UNTIL YOU REAC H THE BATHROOM.
Now, you have made it to the bathroom. You may need to sit down, take a break, breathe…Refocus your attention onto your destination (the kitchen). At this point, you may decide that skipping isn’t going to work very well, or that you just want to try something new. So you decide to crawl like a crab from the bathroom (your new current place) to the kitchen.
The first goal would be to get into the crab position. This is where mini-goals come into play.
Mini-goal one would be bend your knees so your hands touch the floor.
Mini-goal two, slide your hands behind you, so your legs are in front of your arms.
Mini-goal three, bend your elbows so your thighs can rest on your arms.
Mini-goal four, lift legs carefully so you don’t fall
Mini-goal five, put all of your weight on your arms.
Now you are in the crab position. Let’s say you decided to walk sideways with your left side facing the kitchen.
Your first goal would be to lean to the right.
Your second goal is to move your left hand to the left toward the kitchen.
Third goal, lean to the left
Fourth goal, move your right hand to the left toward the kitchen.
REPEAT UNTIL YOU REACH THE KITCHEN.
That’s it! You have made it! You have gotten where you wanted to be … congratulations.
You have to be clear about what you want. Otherwise, your goals won’t make any difference. Imagine if you decided to crab walk, but had no idea where you wanted to go … Talk about confusion!
That is why I want you to become a Dream Getter! Dream Getters make a difference in the world, they obtain everything they want.
Goal Setting is not about the destination.
I have a very big Dream (destination). I focus on the mini-dreams (the places between here and there), always moving forward toward the Dream. What’s wonderful is you can decide to take another route to your dream … there is not just one road. There are many more roads than you can imagine!
And the Obtained Dream (destination} isn’t the key to living a fulfilled life. The destination gives you something to look forward to, to move toward … fulfilled living is in the journey itself.
For support and assistance with designing and creating the life you truly want, please feel free to contact me or visit DesignerLife or our DesignerLife Members Center
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